Huge Penises Are Invading Our Homes!

The wet weather lately, after such a hot spring in the UK has proved amazing breeding conditions for FLEAS. And these aren’t any normal, run of the mill, fleas. They’re bigger than ever and apparently are hung! 

They are said to have penises two and a half the size of their entire bodies. WOW! Unsurprisingly these are the largest genitals, in comparison to whole body size, on planet Earth. Lucky beggars!

They’re not happy though because summer’s all damp. So they’re instead invading our homes looking for some fresh meat.

Nigel Binns, of pest controllers Basis Prompt, said “The activity and behaviour of fleas is often very much dependent on the climate. Mild temperatures during the winter means that fewer than usual will have been killed off and, as they thrive in a warm and humid environment, they’re likely to be present in greater numbers than usual during the next few weeks.

“The population of fleas seems to have grown rapidly in recent years, but the risk of an infestation could be bigger than ever this summer.”

Mr Binns said scratching is often the first sign of a possible infestation.

He went on to say: “Bite marks are usually around the ankles or legs, often leave small red spots which are itchy. And, if you do have fleas in your home, you may even see them jumping on your carpet or furniture.”

They love the fur of animals so they will be brought into your home by your dog or cat but once inside can hop off onto upholstery including: rugs, sofas and curtains. The females can lay up to 50 eggs a day (that sounds like a lot of hard work) and they can survive for ages without a host to gnaw on. So once you’ve been invaded, it could be a bit of a struggle to get rid of them.

Look out girls, they’re coming!

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